Good morning everyone!
I’m grateful for another beautiful sunny day in Los Angeles. And while I am bummed for sleeping in till
8:15 (I like to be up at 7) I must admit I’m off to a good start. The Venice Kale house saw an addition to its
family when my lovely cousin had to return to Germany and our new roommate
Kippy moved in. Kippy has been a bit of
a science experiment to me; she’s effortlessly generous to a level 10 no matter
what. Anything she has is yours, no
questions asked. She’s also still very “Midwest”
even after being in LA for all these years.
Kippy wants to leave the front door of the house wide open she says “to
get some circulation” but I believe it’s because she believes in that feeling
of “everybody knows everybody” even if there is a heroin addict shooting up 100 yards down the street. Kippy has also started explaining a
psychological theory to me based on the Inner Child, the Small Adult and the
Big Adult. I’ve been intently listening
to her (because I believe we should hear everyone even if we don’t agree with
their practice, belief or philosophy) and considering her theory when I watch
people in their daily lives.
 |
| My balcony, the scene of the research. |
This morning I was fortunate enough to see some Inner Child
in the making. As I was sitting in the
living room, drinking my coffee and reading emails I heard a man yell “stop,
STOP!” out in the street. Normally this
wouldn’t give me another thought as there is always something going on outside
but there was something about this man’s voice that I couldn’t dismiss. What could cause that sort of emotion in such
a simple word? I had to
investigate. Scooping up my mug I went
to the balcony door and I saw a man across the street and to my left. He was dropping his daughter off at the
daycare and by what I heard and her tiny demeanor, she had run out into the
street. Now I get it. She was probably no more than 3 years old and
her tiny little frame was standing there, head down, long hair covering her
face in shame. Now her dad could have
handled this two ways: like my father who would have reacted in intense
physical and verbal anger out of fear and punished me making me feel embarrassed,
scared and sad right before I started school, or like this man who picked up
his child and pointed out the cars explaining to her that they drive by so
quickly they wouldn’t see her coming if she’d ran into the street. He then set her down, put her coat on for her
and while he was kneeling in front of her he had a full conversation about why
he reacted the way he did, how he was sorry that he yelled at her, how much he
loves her and then talked to her about the wonderful day he hopes she’ll
have. He zipped up her jacket and
untucked her hair from the back. See
that she was still upset about her scolding, he picked her up and just held her
with both hands until they were both on the same page again. Then I saw her pull her head away from his
chest, touch his face and I saw them both smiling and laughing with each
other. He set her down, took her and
walked her into school. Beautiful. Perfect.
One of the healthiest moments of conflict/resolution I’ve ever seen. And then I thought: I’ve never learned this
from my father how on earth am I going to live my life this way? Who is going to teach me? At first I heaved a heavy sigh of resolution
because I knew it would have to come from me but then I realized that I’m
GRATEFUL to have the wonderful
surroundings and insight to know that I have the tools to do this myself and
therefore change a pattern that would have been otherwise normal to me. All of this inner reflection and I haven’t
even finished my coffee. I wish you all
the most beautiful, productive and abundant day today.
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