7-22-10
Sitting in an airport. Again. Finding myself stuck in situations of no escape and no familiar faces always causes me to reflect on my recent life. After a six week hiatus from makeup, I’m packed and ready to do it again. Ready to make money again, get out of bed with some sort of purpose, hate my boss, fight with my coworkers, criss cross the nation, etc. etc. etc. Actually I think this tour will be better than the last, mostly because it’s five weeks shorter and I only have to be in San Francisco for a few days rather than two months. I think we’ll have a great crew and going to a new place every week really makes the time fly. I feel really blessed for these opportunities of work, I know a lot of people, especially in CA who don’t have a job and can’t find one, and I thank God that I’ve received these opportunities this past year. Still it’s hard to leave this town. I’m so glad I moved to LA and my short summer here really showed me what it’s like to live in this town. I didn’t get the chance to enjoy myself when I first moved here, so I made sure I did that this summer. I went surfing with Tam, I watched tons of movies with my roommates, I rode bikes on the beach with Julie, I played sand volleyball with the boys, and got my face crushed by an incredible serve. I saw some live music in Santa Monica on the pier, I went to an ESPYS party with TL, thanks to Shawn White and Uncle Chuck, I worked a little, did a few shoots, slept in, shopped, went to movies, bars, I celebrated a Lakers win, dates, restaurants, #1 Cactus Taqueria, I went to biggest party I’ve ever seen in my life, I DIDN’T see a girl die after all (thank God), I met Ben, I walked right by a Spice Girl-one of my biggest idols, I made a lot of new friends, kissed some birds, I quit drinking (for the most part)…
This quest I call success is also my pursuit of happiness. I feel like the second I got in my car, I was halfway there, but I still stress about work almost every day. I still have night sweats because I don’t have control over what’s going to happen to my life in 3.5 months; will I have work? For how long? Am I good enough that when the opportunity does arise to do a movie or a major music video I won’t completely flop? When will I find that core group of friends that I feel really connected to like I’ve done in my past hometowns? All of these things cause me to wake up in a soaking, sweaty mess in the middle of the night. But then these glorious chunks of life flop into my lap, and my God they are so much betterfunnyrewardingexhilarating than I thought they could be. I think I’m a little stronger than I thought I was. Obviously I’m not sure. I think I’m ready for what is going to be thrown at me. I better get more sure about that.
I really wanted to take everything in this summer and I feel like I did. I watched the sunset and the sunrise in LA and now it’s time for another adventure. Now if I could only watch True Blood on this frickin plane.
